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| so i'm a public health major, and i have already earned my minor in nutrition. roughly, in the last 48 hours i have consumed...
little ceaser's pizza...about 4 breadsticks, maybe 3 slices of pizza. mcdonalds, large fry, 2 cheeseburgers, an apple pie. twizzlers pull n' peels, lots of chocolate, a large mocha, probably over 2 liters of diet coke. REAL barbeque potato chips, REAL potato chips. those toaster strudel breakfast thingys. i think that about covers it.
um, WTF is wrong with me? okay, so a lot of stuff is wrong with me. lots of drama, lots of angst, lots of confusion in my personal life, lots of finals week coming up, lots of last minute projects/papers being finished, lots of not exercising and not eating my greens.
i don't want to be one of those stupid girls that is like OMG i'm so fat, i ate three pieces of pizza. but seriosely? i have been so stressed out about stupid 21 year old college girl things, that i have let myself go. (sounds so nasty i know). not a good excuse!
the point is, people aren't lying when the say diets are worthless and will hurt you in the long run. eating LEGIT is honestly gotta become a way of life for you, or you're gonna get huge and die a miserable death and your body will hate you everyday and it will have no problem showing it.
anyways, the point of all of this is that i'm up at four in the morning and i need something to do to prevent me from puking, and laying down in bed isn't gonna cut it. for the record, completely sober (i'm on duty for RA this weekend). why am i up? because i'm trying really hard not to vomit. my stomach and GI tract have completely turned on me. (literally).
side note, i probably throw up like three times a week because i am very easily nauseated. but i'm up because i DON'T WANT TO THROW UP AND JUST GET IT OVER WITH SO I CAN MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE like usual. i don't want to throw up because i know how fucking disgusting it's going to be considering what i've eaten. (which is why i feel so sick to begin with).
and the real reality is, a lot of people eat like how i've eaten in the last two days. and i'm not trying to sound concieted or like i'm little miss organic, cuz i eat pizza and beer and steak like the next dude, and i could easily stand to loose a few pounds like a typical american, but shit. this is really pathetic and stupid of me. and if you eat like this, you should feel just as pathetic and stupid as i do right now.
did you know that muerticians are having a hard time pumping presevatives in dead people now a days because our body is filled with so much preservatvies from food to begin with...we already are preserved when we die! did you know that one of the main reasons fast food tastes so good and is addicting is because there is MSG added to it? all MSG does is intensify flavor. it's like the marijuana of the food world. it also literally makes your brain cells explode. so mcdonalds doesn't taste that good, but MSG does! EWWWW.
eat some fucking spinach.
  
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| why oh WHYYYYYY does he always come around at the WORST possible time?
why am i so mad at everything today?
how come running didn't help?
why is lifecycle nutrition have the vaguest assignments, yet the toughest grading?
how come timing has to be EVERYTHING, but NEVER is right?
why can't i just fucking leave this state already? seriously. nothing sounds better than being childish and running away from my problems right now. i just want to graduate and leave all by myself and start a new life somewhere else, with complete strangers.
FML.
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| "Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"
Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you"
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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| it is better to be alone than in bad company.
ps- totally rocking out to shane's new album. music to my ears. :D
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| i just finished my door decorations for my residents this coming semester. the boys are dragons and the girls are unicorns. they look fucking awesome. even have glitter! i'm so excited haha. 11.5 hours until 2009. 2009 is gonna be my year to shine! i hope to:
1- get healthier, by doing what i always do more regularly + lifting weights. like lifting, lifting i hope.
2- practice my guitar all the time and get good. good enough to the point where when i'm stressed i can play it for a bit and feel better, instead of go running for 3+ miles. ( i need to calm my frequent rage in other ways than running. what if i become paralyzed? i need to have a backup plan for stress relief)
3- have more experiences where i'm able to look at the other side of the story, then decide in react in a way different from my first instinct.
4- watch all the ufo hunters episodes and hopefully see a ufo.
5- get my pink floyd foot tatt.
6- get a new job up as school besides RA. i'm BAF (broke as fuck)
7- get my gpa up to a 3.4
8- intern at WIC in grand rapids.
9- sucessfully ignore shitty people.
10- have less rage.
11- try to always see the good in people, even after they fuck up.
12- CONSIDER taking myself down a notch, this might help with #10.
13- not worry about boys. 'you always seem to find your keys when you just stop looking for them.'
14- SEE A UFO. i know i said that already but i really mean it.
i'm tired. no more listy. but there's lots more. goodnight. what do YOU want to happen in 09? oh yeah i changed my major and i'm really happy about it! public health education with a nutrition minor. that has a nice ring huh? i think so anyways.
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